Monday 12 April 2010

Stripey Paper Clips

Have you ever had one of those moments when you suddenly realise you do some silly things?

Around ten years ago I purchased a nice stationery set.  It had multiple compartments with pen, pencil, eraser, drawing pins, PLUS some brightly coloured, stripey paperclips.  I liked those paperclips.  They were fun.  Happy.  Trendy.  (I bet you were unaware that paperclips had such a range of emotions & qualities.)  I put them in my paperclip dispenser right next to the plain old metal ones.

Time ticked by. 

Last year, a whole decade of my life having moved along, and I suddenly observed that I still had ALL of those stripey paperclips.  Whenever I had to use a paperclip I'd see those stripey ones and make a judgement call that this piece of paper was just not good enough for them to be used on.  They had to be saved for a special occasion.   Then I began to think...

What is this grand document I'm waiting for that will warrant their use?    What precious parchment, what valuable text, what sacred artefact would be worthy of being held together by a glorious stripey paperclip?Would the receiver of my paperclipped exhibit open the letter and on seeing the bright stripes instantly recognise that this was no ordinary epistle.  Would there be a hush in the office as everyone gathered around to hear the words that had waited a whole decade to be voiced.  Would it be gently placed under glass or framed so that this 'paperclip' moment would not be forgotten?   I think not.

I decided then to let them go.  Run.  You're Free...  (I have to admit I did feel a pang of regret for using them on just a regular bit of paper, but Bishop assured me that it was okay, and that maybe I was taking the steps of repentance too much to heart, and "my, look at the time, would love to stay and discuss it more, but must dash".  Busy man that Bishop.)

Quirky?  Odd?  Weird?  Inefficient?  Ineffective?  Uninspired?  All of the above?

I feel pretty confident that there is no divine concern over whether I choose stripes or plain clips.  There are, to my knowledge, no scriptures on the matter, and I've waited every General Conference for someone to address such a weighty issue as the proper use of a paperclip (you'd at least think they'd include it in Personal Progress or Duty to God).

The fact is... sometimes I do silly things.  (My wife has the complete list available.)
The next fact is... I can change.
The next, next fact is... I'm a natural man trying his best to evolve into something more glorious and parts of me just take longer than others to catch up.
My final fact is...  I still have one 'special' clip left.  It is black and yellow.  Very trendy.  I would use it today if needed, but what if I have a really special letter I need to send in ten years time.  Better hang on to it just in case.  (Did I just ruin the whole analogy?)

2 comments:

  1. I do the very same thing... that's how I started collecting erasers as a child, I didn't want to use the fancy one so I put it in a box, and just kept adding to it.
    There is something compelling about using the ordinary first and then once the ordinary are gone, using the special if you have to. (But you can always buy more ordinary before the special are used.)

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  2. I love coloured paper clips, but unlike you, Peter, I prefer plain to stripy. Until recently I worked at Distribution sending out the family history films and fiches to the FHCs - my two desks and two computers (I replaced two missionaries!) plus a few filing cabinets were grandly titled the "Microform Ordering Centre". I kept the coloured paper clips in a special tub separate from the boring metal ones (although they were subdivided into very boring silver coloured and much nicer brass!!) and when the order forms came in I would assign the colours according to some admittedly rather odd criteria. My own centre, Harborne in Birmingham, had to have purple, my favourite colour. I had three purple clips, so the others went to centres with whose staff I had the best phone/e-mail relationships (no names, of course!). Then came the apple green, pink and yellow. Irish centres always had dark green, Welsh red and Scottish blue, unless they had been assigned a "superior" colour as above. You won't like this bit: my least favourite was the black and yellow stripes, which I used for a centre where the staff felt the rules of fair film circulation didn't apply to them (!). I couldn't begin to explain why I didn't like black and yellow - perhaps it had something to do with a nasty encounter with a hornet as a child! Anyway, I've retired now, and I doubt if my successor applies any kind of ranking to the coloured paper clips (I guess no normal person would).

    Anyway, I'm glad to have learnt of someone else with feelings about paper clips . . . I don't think it will automatically debar either of us from the celestial kingdom. Now there's a thought - my husband's patriarchal blessing mentions that he will be involved in "the administration of the spirit world"; will there be paper clips??? And if so, what kind? There were links to suppliers of shaped clips at the bottom of your post, and someone does crown-shaped ones. They definitely get my vote.

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